Vibes!!

Vibes boi*, vibes. 

They don’t lie!

The first day when we were talking, I made it very clear that I am a crazy ass bitch who keeps blabbering things and say what’s on my mind without thinking twice and you said ‘Maybe I am into weird & crazy-ass bitches’. But guess what, you were not into one.

You asked me out on a date-type dinner where you were planning to cook for me and have deserts while the moon was still hanging low in the sky but I never felt those butterflies since then or maybe things escalated quickly than they should have been or maybe you lost interest (?) or maybe…. You know what, I don’t like ifs and buts and maybes, so let it be.

Oh, remember the time when you said that distance doesn’t matter for you and you can’t wait to come visit me? I felt like my feelings are being reciprocated and maybe this time it’s going to be different, maybe I don’t have to turn you into a story and forget about you. But here I am, doing the exact same thing, turning you into my story!

When our songs genre matched, the love for the moon clicked and fondness for quiet places bloomed, my brain kept telling me that you are too good to be true but my heart refused to listen to that warning. Now, my brain proudly creates the echo ‘I told you so’ and my heart is numb.

You said we belong to the same half of the world, where we keep telling the other half that we are not a creep. Then what happened? Did you turn yourself into a sane person or did the universe throw you out of our half world? I wish maybe we were creeps and would end up together but it’s just another wish.

Can’t we just stay in our ‘this or that’ game forever? Can’t we still plan our date-type dinner and let the night fall asleep with our endless talks? Can’t we just be ‘Crazy, weird, stalker girl who messed up that night’ and ‘Man of few words who talked a lot that night’? After a series of longing and chatting and calling, I was hoping for real-dates and talks and so much more. And falling apart wasn’t one of them.

True that I get emotionally attached to people but I never said that it’s not easy for me to get rid of those emotions. In fact, it’s easier than getting attached! (Crazy ass bitch, you see.) If I don’t find similar affection from the other side, I can get back to normal real-quick. After all, I can always turn you into one of my stories and let go of you like a beautiful sunset.

And no matter how happy the sunset will make me, I can’t expect those colors to stay a little longer just for me, can I? Maybe it’s for the best because that’s how I’ll get my moon someday, after a series of beautiful sunsets, right?

(*boi- Boy)