Mumbling of a wolf

I wonder how I end up being in front of him in a totally unknown place, at totally unexpected, unwanted times, is that the destiny or just a coincidence? But Do coincidences repeat every time? I don't know.    He's that one guy with the most determined walk whom I'd like to stalk. Ohh his Lips, red like wine; his biceps, I want them to be mine. He, the cooler, cuter and more open minded than others, I wish I could take it a bit further. Ohh wait, Flirt? No, he's more than that, a true soul who never calls me fat.   He's that one guy who warns me and says 'Stay away from me' and guess what, those words are the reason I'm more attracted towards him, like a magnet at a glim. 'I'm worth hating' be his tag line but how can someone hate the Cutest smile.  He's that one guy who doesn't judge me based on what I share but funnily diverts the topic by commenting on my flair.   But He's also that one guy who says ...

'Don't be a child, think practically', 'Stop making fun of things and take them seriously', 'Plan and work for your future instead of daydreaming about foolish things', pretty much normal lines to drag you into a real world and make you a working robot. A good prescription for your disease called 'abnormal behavior!'. Being in a different world of your own, imagining things and living the life you know you can't have or things that won't happen, is it so abandoned when you cross your so called teenage? If adult-ing means leaving my dream world behind then I choose not to grow up so fast. So fast that I won't be able to cope up with the surrounding world. So fast that my thoughts will be drenched and will no longer be able to have their own space out of your confined world. When my mind can no longer handle the stress I've been carrying or when I'm overloaded with real life problems, I choose to flow in a world full of poss...

(For those who are continuously asking me the reason behind my strange behavior. Hope this article will comfort you for coming few days. Until I am normal.) My heart is heavy right now, filled with so many feelings. My legs are weak enough to carry the load of my mind. I want to cry my heart out. I want to know the reason behind my sleepless nights and convert these crowded, mixed, annoying thoughts into a sloppy piece of paper. And I can't even explain it to myself what's exactly going on but I am still struggling to make you understand why I am behaving like this. Will you be able to understand me? I am disturbed, internally. I don't care about my long, beautiful hair anymore. I don't care what I am going to wear tomorrow, anymore. It doesn't even matter anymore. The sun is trying to spread his brightest ray of light on me but my darkness is making him feel less of himself. The calm moon tried to lower the rage within me, but little did he know tha...

A random comment from some random person can still make me think for hours and make me loose my sleep, dive deep into myself, just to examine my till-date life and judge myself to analyse if I have done something wrong to rightfully 'deserve' those comments. The comments they made are now in the past but I am still trying to pull my soul with me in the present, which apparently seems to be lost in the streets of those loud commentators. My head was bruised from thinking so far. My eyes finally opened the gates for the rivers of my soul, they call it tears these days. I went to sleep with music in my soul, drenched in the melody of every word they spoke.  And now, every time when I am out, I can feel those eyes rolling over me, trying to judge my so-called character just for their future gossips. I know I did nothing wrong but I am still guilty, guilty in the eyes of those who doesn't even matter to me. I am still trying to convert myself from my earlier Okay to...

My soul is now a painful land where you once landed to watch the battle between my heart and my brain. The scars from that battle are still fresh enough that no one ever visited this living flesh and blood the way you did. It’s been a while since you left, but the glorified sun still fools me with your shadow and the stormy nights play with my dreams like it’s a toy. My subconscious mind is continuously thanking the wet pillow for making me dry from inside and thanking that single song for helping me to stay strong, all alone. The echo of your laugh, the familiar smell of your perfume in the air, everything is killing me from inside. It’s like each of them are taking a U- turn to your place to remind me of your presence. I am alive with my incomplete sleep and our dreams attached, fighting with myself to make it a bit better life without you. Sometimes, the telephone of happiness rings in an empty warehouse of memories just to clear the dust from your frame. I have unpo...

A cup of coffee wasn’t enough to collect all the courage that was needed to look into his eyes, to get comfortable enough to talk with him. My jacket, as usual, making me look more nervous and restless. My brain, which is usually flooded with all the thoughts and never-ending topics, has now peacefully resigned itself for next one hour. And I am still busy making unsuccessful attempts of finding a single topic to start with. My coffee mug still confused whether to keep that spoon with him or to be alone on its own, without the spoon. In my overall settling process, his eyes still focused on me, observing the struggle which is made to fit in that chair with a coffee mug in my hands and a storm in my head. He said he noticed my nervousness of our first meeting. He said he noticed the marks on my face that are left behind to compliment my puberty. It took him just a few seconds to realize that I am constantly fleeing in my head for a conversation, trying to avoid the eye conta...

An organized efforts to give women the same economic, social and political rights as men, is the definition of feminism. The idea of feminism was introduced so that women will be free from all the injustice. They can also get a chance to put their views in any important topic, which was a rare phenomenon back then. Like I guess, since ancient times, women generally had no say in serious matters and that's why Feminism was introduced. And well well, time has finally changed now. Women have equal opportunities as men, they can explore the world if they want to. But recently, feminism has become a point of argument. People are talking and literally fighting on this topic. Is it really required now? Now, when everything has started falling into its place! Actually, the word feminism is misunderstood nowadays. Feminism was meant for the women empowerment, equal earning opportunities and most importantly, political and legal equality. It isn't a race about who will earn more...

Wait. What are you doing? You are supposed to be perfect, girl!! Perfect? Yes, be perfect. Wear pretty dresses but make sure you will cover up your body well. Always have that nice and sweet smile on your face. Smile but not that much otherwise they will consider you as you are 'available'. Eat healthy but make sure you don't eat too much because every pound you eat is visible on your body, they'll notice. Stop showing your darkness, your pimples and cover up your face in layers and layers of cream because your fair skin has more value than your true colors and pure heart, my girl. Well, may be 'you have to be perfect because you ARE a girl' is what they meant! What are you doing girl? What you are supposed to do is predefined , predefined in our minds ,why are you not behaving like what we thought you should be? Why are you thinking on your own and acting on your own? You should get perfect grades, get into perfect school & have that perfect b...

I stand there still, for years and years, waiting for someone else to show me the path, lead me to the right way.. And then, when the time came, I realized it's not about someone else who can show me my way but it's me who has to travel, wander.. Because this is my destiny I was waiting for years to come to.. It's my happy place I always wanted to reach to. Ohh wait, it's just my body that's standing there and waiting.. But my mind has already traveled through all the possibilities, up n downs, hurdles.. So, I know the way.. It's just a matter of time when I'll stop looking for that someone else who may be doesn't even exists and take my very first step. It's okay if I haven't reached to the top.. It's okay if I haven't conquered it all..!! Because it's not my first time.. I've been here before, I'm here now, I'll be here again!! No matter what outer cage I'll get, I know my inner soul will remain!...

I was all set to go to work. All neat and tidy, smart and simple. I was waiting outside of my house for the bus and some children were waiting for their school bus to arrive. They were also ready for the school with their uniforms neatly pressed and hair neatly combed. Few of them were busy talking while few were playing with a puppy. They were making themselves dirty by playing with that dirty puppy. Constantly lifting him and putting him in some cage. Talking and giggling about something. Then I had a closer look at what they were doing and they were actually helping the puppy to get a warm closet. It was a cold night yesterday so the puppy was shivering and those little kids were trying to keep him at some warm place. I felt sorry for what I thought of them but at the same time I knew that they were making themselves dirty, they had school to attend and they can't be this dirty all day.  I put a break to my thoughts when the school bus arrived. All the children wen...